It's hard for people to know what to say to me right now. I get it. It's hard for me to know what to say, too. Some ask very pointedly, "How are you?" Some nervously say, "So .... single parent ... that's really hard, right?" Some say nothing at all. And I appreciate every one of them - every awkward conversation, every stuttering question, every avoided conversation to honor my space and privacy. I love every attempt to bridge the gap between my life and theirs, no matter how awkwardly we walk across it. Because, let's be honest. It takes courage to have coffee with me right now. I'm a walking cautionary tale.
I am living most people's biggest fear. What if you marry the right person, read all the books, follow all the advice, and your life still falls apart? What if you pour your whole soul into something that shatters into a thousand tiny shards? What if you give your life completely to something that fails?
What happens next?
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
I have so much I want to say - about how I think raising a big family is easier than a small one, and the powerful ways our theology ripples through our lives, how I don't know what it means to trust God anymore and how, in a few weeks, I will get to post a link to a story I cannot WAIT to share. There's so much for us to talk about, friends, but I come to this space and I stare at the blinking cursor.
Because since the last post, I've felt sad.