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The big lie about parenting

Friday, August 7, 2015

The dark hour before dawn is sacred space. It's my only waking hour in a silent room, and I typically guard it carefully.

But that morning, all I wanted to do was wake up my kids.

The night before, in that other still space, the one where children quiet just before they drift off, my son told me the truth. "You always say no. I'm frustrated because you say no to every single question."

It's been a hard summer. Our first months on our own, my first months working in several years, their first long break after their first year of classroom school. Too many changes, too little routine. The characters are all the same, but nothing feels quite normal, and we've had nothing but time together to ruminate in our juices.

I'm over at The Mid!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

I scan the crowd, looking for my childhood best friend. We are at the cheap theater, and the movie is about to start. I take stock of the lobby until I see her, and we both wave and hurry toward one another. "Are you getting popcorn?" I ask right away.

"No," she says, "I snuck my own candy." I giggle and say, "Me too!" Once again I think, I can't believe we get to do this.

I'm over on The Mid, sharing how my best friend from elementary school and I have spent the summer together. You can read the rest over there. 

closing the gap

Monday, July 20, 2015



I love this space. A Wide Mercy is sacred for me, born out of a need to find God in the mess of my life. Over time you guys have all joined me. Together we have made sense of my experiences, and yours - of losing God and finding Him in new places, of moving across the country while raising a bunch of little kids, of struggling with changing marriages. I thank God for the space to sort through all of that, and for the strength we all find when we stand together and say, "Me too."

Over the past year I have shared less and less on A Wide Mercy. The reason is simple: I wanted to create an honest space, and I didn't know how to share my life as it was honestly. I had no idea how to begin to articulate what was happening, because I barely understood it myself.

me too.

Monday, June 29, 2015

I was so excited about my morning. My new in-real-life friend (but long time online friend) Kira and I were taking our kids to the zoo. Kira is wise and kind and gentle and funny, and I leave every conversation with her feeling as though I can breathe a little more deeply. I knew my kids were tired, and they've been over-the-top crazy lately, but we went anyway. There was no way I was going to give up a few hours with my friend.

when it's not a part of God's plan

Friday, June 19, 2015

Today, this passed through my newsfeed:


The proceeding comments fascinated me: "This is why I'm an atheist," "It's just something people say to make themselves feel better." And the one that took my breath away: "After my father was murdered, I heard this phrase all the time. I finally told someone if it was true, I needed a new religion." 

on bathing suits, lost children, and why I see my summer in a new way.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

photo credit here 
In a few hours I’m going to wear a bathing suit in front of other grown-ups. For the first time since I was eight years old, I am excited to go. My body looks exactly the same as it did a year ago, with the same 20 baby pounds I simply don’t have time to shake, and the same mid-30’s-and-four-babies flab I swore I would tone before this moment arrived. My body has not changed at all, but my attitude has shifted dramatically. To understand why, I have to tell you a story.

On faith, manipulation, and the healthy faithful response to the Josh Duggars in our worlds

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Let's talk about the Duggars.

I don't want to, and I'm sure you don't either.  But I can't get away from it. The story has permeated my life this weekend. In every circle - every online group, every walk with a friend to the park, every email or FB message - no matter where I am, everyone I know is talking about it. Why? A famous person from a  reality show confesses to sexually predatory behavior. Why are we so shocked? On its face, why are we more unnerved by Josh Duggar than, say, Bill Cosby? Why does this one matter so much?

 

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